Relationships really do put our need for healing under the spotlight ! It’s when we are in close action with someone that we show our deep rooted reaction.
You may have heard before that our behaviour stems from our past experiences. Behaviour is formed as a coping mechanism to an environment or a particular person.
I believe that the age we were when a certain behaviour pattern was formed can be captured and played out in the now so that in a disagreement (which is completely normal by the way!) we might all of a sudden see our partner react like a teenager, for example. This teenager is trapped in time and has been activated (or triggered).
It is so important to note that this is by no means an excuse for poor behaviour or a reason to not be accountable for one’s actions. It is so crucial that we take responsibility for our own actions and our own behaviour and seek the support that we may need in order to make necessary change and to heal our past.
These shifts are completely within reach and it is so much easier to make these changes if we are open to being honest to ourselves.
If you are in a relationship and your partner is unable to make this first Step, it is wholly your decision whether you stay in this relationship or not. The old saying ‘you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink the water’ is so, so true.
Whatever you decide has to be right for you right now. This may be an Ideal time for you to find some support, explore your needs and then consider your options.
